Monday, May 2, 2011

"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." ~ Anton Chekov

Writing teachers often repeat the above well-worn piece of advice condensed into a simple phrase: "show, don't tell" to emphasize the importance of descriptive detail in "good" writing.  Although in grade schools, our teachers may have encouraged us to do both inviting us to select objects or stories to bring in from home to share with our classmates in the familiar activity "Show And Tell," when it comes to writing most people agree: showing beats telling hands down.

What do I mean by showing and telling in writing?  Let's take a look at some examples.  Here a writer presents the facts of the story by "telling":

"When I was seventeen, I moved out of my house in Mora and went to St. Paul. I lived with my sister near Frogtown. She moved there for the same reasons I did: our parents were too controlling. They wouldn't let us have our own lives."

The above "telling" example is not yet a story; it is a summary of a story.  We don't know what the characters look like.  We don't see them in a scene, or see them in action.  In order to see them in action we need action verbs, and we need to hear the kinds of things these characters might say.

Now, let's take a look at the same story this time presented with action, description, and dialogue:

"At seventeen, I ran out the front door of my parents' house, jumped into my car and drove from Mora to Frogtown in St. Paul in one hour, my red Firebird skidding to a halt in the gravel driveway of my older sister's house. I climbed from the car, raced across the lawn and pounded on her door. "Open up, Mary,” I yelled. “I can't live with those people anymore."

Here the reader is not told how the character feels about her parents, but is instead shown through the character's actions and speech.  By driving away fast from her parents' house, and banging on her sister's door, we can see that the narrator does not get along with her parents and needs to escape.  Showing, rather than telling, gives your readers the opportunity to draw their own conclusions

This week, as we revise our fairy tale "remixes" and conduct peer conferences, all the while working steadily towards publication, I'd like you to work on showing rather than telling by completing one of the following creative writing prompts below (choose one).

As always, don't forget to proofread for CUPS and do your best to write in complete sentences!

Image Source: http://ippaonline.com/ippa/2006/08/


Choose One

1.  Object Description. Go and look at some object rarely paid attention to, like a spider web or a dust ball or a pile of dirty socks, and write about its details. Describe with many senses (sight, touch, taste, smell, sound), and let your words suggest further words until a bigger theme, or idea cracks open.  Don’t think. Write. Stuff happens.

2.  Someone's got a secret.  Write a dialogue between two people who both have a secret they're keeping.  Do not reveal the secrets, but let your reader guess at them through the characters' words and actions.  For example, the dialogue might be between Clark Kent and Lois Lane, Lois Lane has a secret crush on Superman, and Clark Kent is Superman.  Remember, action is an important part of dialogue.  Sometimes we look away instead of answering.

3.  The murderous lake. Describe a lake as seen by a young person who has just committed murder.  Do not mention the murder.

4.  Describe a simple action.  Describe a simple action (sharpening a pencil, tying your shoelaces, making a lay-up shot) in detail using all four senses.  Make it interesting to read.

The above exercises were adapted from John Gardner's The Art of Fiction.

57 comments:

  1. He passes it to me. I take it and back him down. All I can hear is the sound of both our heart beats. As I turn around I see his surprised reaction. As I jumped he jumped but it is to late because I already released. We both watch as it rotated in the air. When it was finish I screamed
    “NOTHING BUT NET BABY!!!!!”

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  2. Sharpening a pencil..... You turn over and over, hands sweating from the pencil that has been in your hands for so long because this pencil will not sharpen right. You have that one little drop of sweat just rolling down your forehead. Hips moving side to side uncontrollably. Wait.... You take the pencil out and it looks like the eraser is left. New Pencil. “UGH”. Sweating even more and you’re missing the class. “Oh Finally” (Bell Rings) “what as soon as I get my pencil sharpened it’s time to leave.”

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  3. This lake seems as it has no life. It looks dark and silent inside there. It feels harsh being near this quit and dry dark place and as if my heart is about to jump straight out in fear. It smells horrible as if something was rotten for days. All I hear is the sound of my footsteps walking slowly. I taste the dry air I breath while I stare in the dark lake.

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  4. Someone’s got a secret

    Once upon a time in South Beach, Miami there was a family enjoying the beach. Two kids were playing in the waves having fun. The kids names where Michael and Michelle. Michael went back to get his towel. His mom was laying on the beach suntanning and the dad was asleep in his beach chair. He dried off then reached for the boogieboard. Then out of nowhere his sisters hand grabbed the board also. With both kids having a hand on the board Michael said “Let go of the board I’m about to use it”. Michelle said “i was here first”. The kids began to yell and bicker with each other. Then Michael said “Let go or else i tell mom what you did to her favorite lamp, last night!”. Michelle fired back “Let go of the board before I tell dad what you did to his favorite autographed Babe Ruth baseball!!”. Michael was shocked with her comeback. He stared at her angrily and said “You wouldn’t dare”. Then Michelle said “Try me”. There sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. No one tugged for the board. Then Michael looked at Michelle and said “Ok. How about this? Each of us get 10 minutes with the board. Then switch until one of us doesn’t want to play anymore. Deal??” Michelle sat and thought about it then said “Deal!!! I CALL FIRST AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!”. Then she took the board and ran. Michael sat there defenseless. He sat down and watched his sister have fun. Then the switched and Michelle sat and watched also. The day continued and eventually the family left the beach and went home.

    THE END

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  5. The dog that was chasing me like if I was running bones, my eyes are bold and red and tears shooting from my eyes at full speed. Heading down the street toward my house the closer I get the further it looks then suddenly I turned around the dog vanished my heart was pounding out of my chest with fear

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  6. I feel as if I'm about to explode into a million happy pieces of girl im joy and excitement is what i can handle i start to wonder whos watching me as im jumping to the sky gods .
    screaming “yes , yes”all around my room and youll never guess why just cutting on the tv made me so happy osama bin ladin was killed and i felt 100% great.

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  7. As i went into my brothers room a horrifying smell hit me like a sack of laundry. There was half eaten bowls of cereal with spoiled milk and molding bread that looked as if it was there for centuries.There was clothes everywhere and a millions of sneakers all i could see was Jordan's and Air-Max's and every sneaker you could imagine. Every time i took a step i could feel food crumbs on the floor and every time i took a step i was scared to take another. When i finally got out of that retched room of his i heard my moms sweet voice SIKE but then i heard her say the words i would never think would come out her mouth. “Will you clean your brothers room”.

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  8. The spider web was so still, so boring. No life to it. It was just there. I felt like swatting it but changed my mind. It looked like a mural in thin air, a piece of art coming out of the blue. But no it has to be called a spider web. It smells like a lot of nothing. It tastes like... I do not even want to try it. It feels soft. It has wholes with bugs on it. I'd rather not feel it anymore. It does not sound like anything. I hear the crackling of the railing it is on. This is the wonderful life of a spider web.

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  9. 3) In the night of the deepest and darkest part of the woods, there is a lake where damp trees and the cold mist of air surround it. It’s so dark, you can’t even see the black shadows of anything. Anybody can come around and do anything, but who knows what happens here. The lake is as cold as ice. Once you go in, your body would be numb when you come out. The lake smells like a bunch of dead pigs in a farm. Nobody can take such a bad smell, only the people who stores the dead.

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  10. "Someone has a secreat" and i am going to find out who and why. "Why do you look like a teenage girl thats hidding a secreat in her dariy." The man in the corner started staring at the person that did kill somebody and his eyes looked at him so fast it look like at an dart hitting a dart board. When the police seen him looked at the person the man insteadly throw a smell piece of glass and throw it at the police throat, before he can cuff him.
    The End

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  11. I puled my car up to the edge of the lake, it seemed safe, for now. I looked over at thee lake, for some reason it looked different tonight. It seemed oddly red, as red as the blood I had just seem on the tiled floor of my bathroom. And the dark black forest around the lake like the long black hare that was around the pool of blood. The blackness and the deep red seemed to compliment each other so well, it was to bad that I could only realize this when the woman how owed this beauty was dead. And if only I could have kept my temper, but of cores then I would have never realised the beauty in all of this.

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  12. The Murderous Lake has trees around it dead and some alive. When you walk towards this lake it smells as if someone died, fog is coming from everywhere and crows are flying in the sky. The water is brown and things are trying to come alive, if you just walk pass this murderous lake it smells worst then the garbage dump. It smells like feet, dead animals,and blood.

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  13. Kayla: great descriptive language! I can see and smell your character's brother's room and it is not pretty! Is this based on real events...? :)

    Bryant: You wouldn't be talking about the not so effective pencil sharpener in ELA would you?

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  14. It started out when my brain sent an electric signal to my hands telling them to move my hand to open the door handle on the door. I touched the door handle on the car and it felt smooth and bitterly cold. It smelt awfully like rust, almost like the cut on my hand dripping with blood. I slowly pulled the door handle and stepped outside. The air was misty full of water droplets and I tasted the cold gray water in my mouth. It tasted like water...surprisingly I thought I would taste like pollution. My brown loafers were soaked and ruined. I saw the corner store with the vivid color. Blue, White, Yellow and etc. Then I heard my name. She screamed “Buddie!” in a high pitched voice almost breaking my ear drum. I closed the car door behind me and proceeded to my house and stayed there until tomorrow.

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  15. Describe A Simple Action:

    As I turned the corner the dog pulled my triceps like a rubber band and letting it go. The sight of the dog going to the bathroom made me squeal at the sight. The smell was not only despicable but like a dirty man coming home from work late at night. The honking of the car made not only the dog jump but also me.I had the crackling bag of dog poop touching my fingers. My feet scraped the floor as I was pushed up the sidewalk like a man getting arrested from his home. My dog would bark like as if trying to notify another dog about something that happened. I would easily get distracted by pedestrians trying to get by without getting killed by this vicious dog. The dog would carefully pick up scraps and bones from the ground trying to see if it could find DNA. We would walk up the stairs and it would walk fast like we were in a race.

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  16. Throwing a football it seams so simple but there are lots of motions to go through.
    Tired as ever last play of the game on a throwing play. You say go, take 3 steps back already bodies flying blood drawn from big bodies hurry up I hear from my side throw the ball . Barely jumping on the tips of my feet. Someone comes flying at me I run and I get away. I see one of my players running across the field in a hurry anxious to catch the ball. In a hurry I zap the ball to him
    he catches it and runs for him life next thing you know he is in the end zone for a touchdown.
    Everyone on there feet cheering crowd going wild. So happy the game is over everyone doggy piles on the one who scored it looked like we was going to die.

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  17. Someone’s got a secret



    The final bell ringed and every single student came running out the classrooms and into the hallway.They were running like wild bulls attacking red clothes being thrown around.
    “Yo, Michael.” said Alston.Trying to keep up with all the students running.His head sweating, his left leg muscle having a cramp, and chest burning like he has a sun burn.
    Michael turns around and gets hit in the stomach by a student running with a huge duffle bag.”Ahh, sheesh kid watch where your going!” Michael screamed with fury.
    “Dang Michael, said Alston. you got jacked up from the floor up.” Alston laughing so hard that he gets a pain in his stomach and starts coughing.
    “What ever, getting up from the ground with a little hole in his shirt. did you see Linda anywhere Alston?”
    “You know what i haven’t seen her since lunch, why whats up?” Alston questioned with a curious face on.
    “Oh nothing, it’s just something i got to ask her.” said Michael blushing hard. Alston still confused but didn’t want to say anything, then Alston founded a note in Michael’s hand.
    “So whats in the letter Michael?” Alston asked with a joking face. Michael looks down.
    “Oh this thing, uhh it’s nothing to worry about.”Michael trying to hide the note in his back pocket.
    “Ohh i see, well don’t worry I won’t tell, haha!” Alston laughs again and leaves to go home.
    “Man, that was a close one, said Michael. I could’ve lost my chance of ever getting a girl.”

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  18. I was so terrified I panicked I didn’t know what to do. I sat down by the dark lake it was pitch black dark the moon light was glemming on the water. I began to breathe heavingly as I heard something coming from behind the bush. I thought it was a person but to my surprise it was a frog. As I began to bend down to wash my face in the lake I began to back away slowly seeing my face made me more terrified. It was cover completely covered dirt and mud my shirt and pants was too. As I layed my head down I had flash backs of me running through the woods screamming I’m sorry. My face turned pale and my stomach began to turn upside down I felt light in the head. I wanted to get help but I thought the was going to turn me in. As I stood up and looked at the water the water looked as though it was reaching a hand out to me to take me in with it.

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  19. It all started on a wet summer day on July 19,1992. I remember it like it was yesterday. Just yesterday, I walked past the same river where it all happened. I will always regret doing it but you can’t go in the future and fix mistakes that you’ve caused. A lot of things were going through my head at the moment like will I get caught, or in the future will I have a nervous breakdown? On that mysterious night, I saw thousands of lights shining in my face like my time was up in the world. I saw her face for the last time and the last thing she said to me was, “Why?” I try to forget it but every time I take a step forward I need to take two steps back. It never gets out of my head.

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  20. Melanie stood there with her hands behind her back as Symone walked over to her.
    Melanie was sweating and her heart was racing someone’s go t a secret. As Symone walked over to her she tucked at her shirt she was sweating like a NBA player that just go the court.

    “Hey Mel,” she said stuffing her hands into her pockets.

    “Hey ,what’s up?,” she said thinking about the thing she just couldn’t bare to tell her dearest friend.

    “So um..how was your day?”

    “Just dandy,and yours?”

    “Um great,”she was hiding something too and knew she couldn’t tell Melanie it was to much of a risk.

    “So what are you doing after school?”

    “The usual, you know chess club, and stuff,” she said wiping the sweat from her forehead.

    “I didn’t know you were into chess,” she was getting curious.

    “Well you know I just signed up, because my- my uh...mom she said it would be good for me you know extra curricular activities."
    "Well I have to go you know I'm," she said looking at a poster for cheer leading try-outs poster "trying out for cheer leading you know team spirit go Leos," she said clapping and giving a small leg kick.
    "Well good luck," she said them both leaning in to hug
    "Thanks Melanie good luck with chess." They both walked away.

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  21. As I looked across the lake, I could make out figures laying on the ground like defeated chess pawns. Their arms were slung across their stomachs and their knees were crumpled. My heart was beating fast and I didn't know if it would ever slow down. The lake, its self was rippling violently as the wind ripped around the trees. It whistled spookily in my ears. The wind just added to the effect of my nervousness. "I probably should get back to camp," I thought. "What a night to be alone on the lake, huh?" I heard a voice say behind me. "Um...yyeah. Wwhat a nightt."
    I stuttered back shakily. And I wasn't cold because of the night winds. I was afraid to turn around and look to see who it was. "So what you doing out here at exactly 11:11 at night?" the voice inquired. "It's ttthat late alrrready? I wwas just going ttto...ssttay outt here a little longer. I tthink I lost my ttowel at swim night ttttonight..." I lied, hoping the person would leave. "Oh okay. Well have you seen Alaina or Corey? They didn't come back from swim night?" "Umm...no I haven't. I thought I saw them go back into the...um...forest." "Ok. I'll check there AGAIN. But remember to be back in your bunk by 11:30. That's lights out for puny campers like you. And also careful about who you lie to..." I froze. My heart stopped and my mind raced. Hopefully the voice was just talking about the time I lied that I hadn't stolen Adam's blanket in the middle of the night. "Don't worry I know your secrets..." the voice replied to my actions. I whirled around and there was no one. All I saw were 2 translucent figures drifting through the trees, and they looked a lot like Alaina and Corey. I screamed.

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  22. 1)
    As he slowly approached the G bus stop at 17th and Oregon Ave. the bus was crapped with students from Mastery. He was trying to get to that 1 empty seat left. As he concentrated on the seat , he noticed that it had a big spot on it that looked like vomit. Now he knows why everyone was trying to stay their distance from that seat. It smelled like chlorine & he hated the smell of chlorine. He decided to just stand up like all of the other students until he got to his stop .

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  23. It's a quite night. You can see the moon right on top of the lake, flowing so gentle with full of hatred. You can see the blood flowing on the water. Water and blood are like brothers, so alike what just happened to me. so might power the gun went, “BOOM!" My brother just felled on the water like if the world stop spinning. He was a perfect until now, his face so broken. "HAHAHAHAHAHA," was my last words i said. He just didn't now it was his last day. But he's gone now so piece full. I wonder if any one notice because i don't care. Me and my brother are here, both so good and bad. There’s no good night neither bye. Only since of the trees, caring the souls of my brother and eventually me. Still crying good night brother mine."BOOOOOM!"

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  24. 3.)

    A slight breeze rattled the dead leaves in the trees, and the silhouettes of the creeping branches curled upwards, as if they were trying to grasp the brilliant full moon. Miniscule creatures crawled through the dew - coated luscious grass. The lake was as black as a raven, and the only interruption from plainness was the glint of moonlight in the reflection of the silent lake. I could hear my breath seeping out of my lungs. A strange chill ran down my back, as if a sharp shard of ice had gashed my spine in two vertical slices. My feet were planted firmly in the floor, as I surveyed my landscape. I heard a reverberating thud hit the ground to my right. Suddenly, a bead of sweat dripped slowly down my brow and dropped to the ground. I looked down to see a shining, scarlet liquid drizzling down into the hushed blackness below. The whole lake rippled, causing a disturbance to the dull waters. I dropped my dagger, and fell to my knees, which had started to tremble. My face fell into my bloody hands, and I began to sob to the nothingness surrounding me. My tears were so abundant, they soaked my legs, and trickled down to mix with the blood of my innocent sister.
    "I'm pathetic!" I screamed after an eternity of crying to the nonentity around me.
    I curled into an absolute ball, and yanked on my hair, rocked back and forth, and whispered in a hushed whisper to myself. It was no use. This had to end. I brought myself to a sitting position, and saw my tears were silvery, and the hatred of myself turned into rage. My thoughts were a blur, and the world swirled around me.
    "Should I do it? Should I do it?" the voices rang out in my head.
    The trees rattled in response, and the gusts of wind blasted through the clearing, causing my hair to fly up in a ruckus. The lake was not still any longer, and a thin beam of light broke the barrier of the lake surface. I knew it was time. I picked up the bloody stiletto with my hand as red as rose, and stuck the tip to my chest. I moved it closer to my heart. Suddenly, the wind stopped, my hair fell down around my shoulders and I pressed as hard as I possibly could. I heard a blood - curdling crack, which was my sternum cracking, and right before I died, I howled, "This is for you Marietta! I love... you." I rasped out my last breath...and all was over.

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  25. dontae

    I was so terrified by the smell i could not bare be near the black lake as tree are dieing, leaves are falling kids screaming as a fright the lake was red as blood as i wonder whats in there then a nother scream and the lake turns redder as i run so i could not scream

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  26. 1. Object Description



    I walked into the room and there I was pilled under a bunch of dirty draws. It was like a giant mountain. The dirty underwear smelled as if they been here for days. There were brown strips on them kind of like skit marks the a really fast moving cars make once the brake is hit. I think it poop. No wonder why I smelled something musty in here like when you leave water in your rag for to many days. The funky underwear seemed ancient because there were cob webs all over them. I think some one dug them up from a mummy tomb. Ewww.... what is that? Ahhhh theres somthing moving and it’s a rat groose. This is to much I’m leaving.

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  27. Monae WhitfieldMay 6, 2011 at 9:23 AM

    Its midnight and there is no one around so he thought,his face sweating. He ride to a lake where their is smoke coming out. Wonder to his self why he had to go that far. He sat down trying to clear his mind but it’s not work I’m ready to end my life once ,for all there is nothing here for me and their is a matter of time before the cops come knocking at my door.But what about my wife and kids i can’t just leave them all by there self and we are broke and my wife is stressed,i just can’t end my life now but then I’m going to leave anyway because the cops are looking for me right now ,maybe.

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  28. markeem the best everyyyyyyyyyyMay 6, 2011 at 9:29 AM

    3. The murderous lake. Describe a lake as seen by a young person who has just committed murder. Do not mention the murder.


    Heart racing , sweat dripping down his body like it rain on him. Daron why did you kill him , what is the point of this? Daron thinking in the back of his mind. The lake is steaming hot like boiling water , a forge day smoke in the air.Daron i should have this , blood all over his hand like cacthup. The lake took Daron life away.

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  29. It was a rainy Monday and we were in teacher Lacey's class eyes all droopy,loud lion yawns,watery eyes and drowsy we were, the rain tap dancing on the windows and the screeching of teacher Lacey's marker against the board. You could hear nothing but feet tapping then as I was writing the graphite to my pencil had broke. And I walked over to the sharpener to sharpen my pencil the sounds of the rain tapping against the window and teachers Lacey's board marker and the squeaky crackling of my pencil sound as if we were in a music band. And then at that point I could just hear a band playing in my head.Then I started to dance on my way back to my seat I could hear Tr. Lacey say ”stay in control calm body” Then I went back to my seat and as I went to sit there was a loud ringing noise and there was the bell then the ruckus all started 2nd period of to teacher Rich's class.

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  30. Someone's Got A Secret!!

    Ring a ding ding, “my phone’s ringing”.
    “Hey you know what today is?” Kamiyah said ,
    “Sure I do. Its Thursday,” Jonae said while she laughing in silence.
    “Not the actual day of the week, but what’s today? Its something special.You know the day of someones birth.... Ugh” Kamiyah said with a very annoyed voice.
    “Ooh your mom had a baby, how cool.”
    “Noo Jonae. I cant believe you! How could you forget”?
    “Hold on Jonae said and put her self of mute.... “hahahaha Jonae laughed”.
    “Im back Jonae said”
    “ll call you later Kamiyah said sadly”.

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  31. As Luisa ran up to me in the noisy hall way, with her arms wide opened and the biggest grin ever, I opened my arms and hugged her. It's like I felt her happiness before hugging her. Feeling our body temperature combine. Then she whispered in my ear,"There's corn dogs for lunch today" I squeeze her from the happiness I had. Luisa turned her head and I smelled her hair curl hair that smelled like caramel. It smelled so god and strong that I can almost taste it. Making my taste buds getting ready for the flavor of caramel as if I was about to eat some. I never knew how nice a hug can feel.

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  32. Kenan
    3.The murderous lake. Describe a lake as seen by a young person who has just committed murder.
    You have just committed a murder and you come up to this lake.But the lake looks really creepy but that's when you turn your back to walk back to your car and get the murder victim out of the trunk to throw in the lake.That's when you feel something pulling you into the lake.Then you realize there's a body that is part dead part alive.After that you took out the same murder weapon that you used to murder the victim that you murdered so that's when you cut the part dead part alive person's head off and threw the weapon in the lake with the part dead part alive body which is now dead. The lake is a lake full of blood and human and animal bones.Also there's a bunch of bones that are from reptiles.

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  33. 3.. Describe a lake as seen by a young person who has just committed murder. Do not mention the murder.

    Murderous Lake

    In the middle of nowhere where lay-ed a deep 10ft lake. As I dipped my hand in the lake all I saw was blood and children's faces disappearing 1 by 1. Like a roller coaster his deep and dark world was spinning. The lake appears to be filled with blood with all types of people drowning in it. As he stares in the lake he sees a reflection of the devil reminding him of all the things he has done.

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  34. 3. The lake had rippled after I throw the body into the water. After a little the lake was quite again. Completely still. It almost felt like the body was alive again and was coming to get me. I decided to leave. I felt like I should be in a bit of a hurry, but I wasn’t. A bitter wind blowed past and the faint smell of death came throw with it. Silence had come with the sun setting and now there was only the crunching of the leaves under my feet as I walked. As I walked I thought of what could happen next. What would happen if the body came up? Or worse they just suspected me! What would I do, run, confess, I have no idea. My fingerprints were all over that girls weeding dress. It served her right; she had no right to take my man. I figured all I could do is leave the country. I bought a ticket to Paris, the most romantic place on earth. I thought maybe I could bring Brad with me and we could live our lives happily ever after.

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  35. There it lay on the mound. Fresh and & new with sharp seams. I feel it in my hands and I feel a baseball. But a baseball that holds a a lot of things. The things it holds are beyond me. My future, my failure. Success or a trip back home knowing that I did not make it. A homerun or a strikeout. I'm the pitcher and people say I the control the ball and the game, but really, the ball controls me.

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  36. “What have I done?” Gilbert said as drops of guilt ran down his face.
    “You monster” kinna said. Gilberts brain spun round and round inside of his head.
    “ wha wha what’s wrong with you?” Kinna said as she choked on fear.
    “ I didn’t mean to I swear I didn’t.” Gilbert said as his eyes started to leak like a broken pipe.
    You’ve done it now. I have to get away from you. Kinna said as she began to run.
    Gilbert started to chase her, not only was he twice the size height and weight of her but he was twice as fast as her. Finally he caught up to her and then he grabbed her like he was gripping on a bike handle.
    “Help, help someone help me. ”Kinna started to scream.
    Sorry. Gilbert said in a serious voice.

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  37. I sit near a mostly frozen lake as the night sky turns from orange to black. People walk by. Some with dogs and others walk alone. All I can do is wonder if any of these people know what I did.

    Knife-colored fish jump in and out of the water. I imagine that the water is skin and the fish are stabbing at it. It reminds me of my crime. I realize that it has been a while since I have seen the police. As I look into the water, I see a man’s reflection; his shirt covered in blood that is not his own, blood shot eyes from lack of sleep, untidy hair and stolen car keys in his hand. I hear barking, “Could it be the K-9 unit coming for me?” I say to myself.

    As I turn around, I see an owner playing with his dog. I feel relieved as my heart calms down. “Bang!” I jumped and looked behind me. I thought it was a gun, but it was only people playing the drums. Sirens howl in the distance get louder. I jump into the icy lake. I sit down at the bottom and give up.

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  38. Someone has a secret

    When I first meet him I never knew what he could do,he looked like a normal guy that had normal problems like the rest of us.But I guess I was wrong.
    It had all started in a coffie cafe,thatswhen my life became up side down.As he staired at me eerytime I too sip of my tea. It was as if our world was one and nobody else was around us.ust the tw of us.
    He stood up and walked my way to sit next to me.When he reach where I was sittig he asked the crazist but cuite question
    "Is anyone sitting here"he asked
    "Yeah me and my boyfriend"I said with a grin
    I know there was no boyfriend I just wanted him to go back to where his was and watch me sip my tea every other minute.
    "I gues your botfriend betta find another spot cause I already took it"as I glard into his beep blue eyes.It felt like you could take a swim in them.
    I wonder if he knew what I knew bout him his secret that he was trying to hide but not hiding it very well.

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  39. As he sat at the lake alone,he knew what he did was wrong.His eyes light with fury,but deep down he felt happy for himself.He felt he released alot of anger and depression.A few seconds later his friend came,he saw him with tears of joy in his eyes.His friend asked him"Are u alright " there was no answer.His friend looked at him.He has seen what he has done.He slowly backed away,he. Ran,leaving his friend to commit suicide.

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  40. Raffy made a song and one new producer, Mr. Josh call him and ask him if he can publish the song.
    “Raffy, I have a plan to make your song publish and make it popular. Are you agree with this?” Mr. Josh asked.
    “Yes, of course I agree.” excited Raffy.”
    “But I can pay you a lot now, since I was new.” Mr Josh said.
    “That’s okay, I made the song not for money, but it’s for someone.” Raffy smiled. “But I need you to promise to not tell anyone I’m the one who made the song.”
    “Okay, I’ll not tell anyone. I’ll keep my promise. Don’t worry about it.” Mr. Josh agreed.
    After that deal, Mr Josh made a competition to find someone to sing the song. When it was the competition day, Caven came to follow the competition. After the competition finished, and the judges decided that Caven is the winner.
    “Congratulation Caven, now you are going to sing the song. But I can’t pay you a lot for this time.” Mr Josh said.
    “No, that’s totally fine. I want to sing this song not for money, but for someone.” Caven smiled just like Raffy did.
    “Thank you.” Mr Josh thanked. “Why Caven said the same word as Raffy? Who is the people that Caven and Raffy talking about?”Mr Josh thought.

    One day, when there is a performance, Mr Josh invited Caven and Raffy to meet each other. When they get into room, and Caven and Raffy came in the same time, and they look at each other.

    “Caven?” Raffy said.

    “Raffy?” Caven said on the same time.

    “So you know each other?” Mr Josh asked.

    “Yes” they both answer and revealed the face of cynicism to one another.

    “Oh.. good then, so I hope this business will work well.” Mr Josh said. “You guys are weird, you know each other and you have the same exact reason for doing this for someone.” When they both heard Mr Josh sentence, and looked at each other even more cynical.

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  41. All I here is did you do this or did you do that.My only response was that''I don't know what you are talking about''.''Stop asking questions!''I shouted.I do not know what they are talking about.All I was doing was walking my dog around the lake and eating my dounut.''I'm going to ask you one more time,where you responsible''.''I'm going to ask you one more time''I said.''Can I go home to watch the playoffs''.

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  42. 3)
    The lake stared at me telling me to drown in it. “No! I will not!” do you think it knows? Maybe, I feel weird I can’t breathe. Why do I feel like that lake is telling me I did wrong? It doesn’t know it’s just a stupid lake.”Ahh!!” wow that was weird something grabbed my foot. How did I get in the lake? I must be sick, do you think? No they’re dead. This is weird I see shadows, no faces, no they must be wait no can’t be. This is weird I’m going home. Wow I can’t move I’m stuck! ”Someone helps me! I’m stuck!” wait no one can hear me that’s why I killed them here. No! “Help, help, helpppppbb…” –nothing was heard again from that poor guy.

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  43. I look down on the untouched lake. Around it was quiet and surrounding it was a deep abyss of a forest. 'But...I can't swim...' I think to myself. 'But then again...what have I got to lose?' I jumped into the cold water. It made me shiver but in some way I liked it. I looked down on my bloody hands. What was I to do? He came after me. I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. It got dark. I want to...but I can't. But why does it matter? Nobody will know or care. No one cares about me. They never did. I then submerged my head into the water. I never came up after.

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  44. I grab my dirty, pink shoe laces, that have been dragging on the ground for forever and pull them hard. I cross the right lace over the left and put the left lace under. To a little kid, this may look confusing but tying my shoes is as simple as 1, 2, 3. Anyway, after I put my left lace under I pull. Next I make a loop with my right lace, it kind of looks like a bunny's ear. Then I wrap my left lace around the bunny's ear. Finally, I'm almost done, just one more step to do. I push the left lace through the hole, it's like a train going through a tunnel. When the train has made its stop I pull really hard. I tied my shoes hooray! Now my feet are rabbits!

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  45. SOME'S HIDING SOMETHING

    The lake has always been in a icesoladed place. Very quiet and pieceful. The lake is very deep, you can barely see the bottom of it. I used to play in this lake when I was little. Now all that's in it is trash. I wonder what people hide in this lake. One day I went to stop by this lake when I saw something mysterious floating in the water. More trash. What happend to this lake? What's floating in the water? Somethings are just misterious.

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  46. Washing dishes

    Washing takes lots of time it depends how many dishes there are. Step 1: Fill up the sink with water. Step 2: Put on the gloves put a little bit of bleach. Step 3:Then wash the dishes.


    The end

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  47. long long ago there lived an old lady who lived in the woods in those woods the was a lake not just an ordinary lake.The lake that Michael had died in had algae coming out of it,it was green and brown the last person who swim in the lake disappeared 1,2.Freddy's Coming for You!3,4,Better Lock Your Door!5,6.Grab Your Crucifix!7,8.Better Stay Up Late!Nine,Ten.Never.Sleep Again!

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  48. So you wake up in the morning you yawn and feel as though you have to refresh your mouth. You go to the bathroom and pick out your favorite tooth brush. You rinse it off under the water.You should have a selection of toothpaste to choose from. You squirt a dab of toothpaste on your mouth brush. Then you slowly put the brush against the teeth . You scrub and scrub your teeth all sides upright, up-left, center-field, down-left , down-up, and make sure you get your tongue. It should sound like a teacher nails rubbing across a chalk board. You know your finish when you feel the toothpaste bubbly sensation. You spit the bubbly sensation out in the sink and rinse with boiling hot water. After that you get a mint fresh mouth wash. This is how you keep you teeth whitened.

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  49. “As i walked up to the lake i felt sick.I went up to the lake and when i saw my face i felt nasty and dirty. What have i done the lake was filled with things i used to do it. What will everybody think of me. Will someone tell on me. I have to move away from this lake cause I'm feeling sick.

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  50. Ring the phone ring
    “ Who this?”
    “its me mark, remember me”
    Maya said “ oh yeah from Germantown? “
    “Um Na...”? “
    Sike Na I'm jut messing with you“. She said with confusion.
    mark said what you doing?”
    Maya said, “chilling in the house how bout you ?”
    True true true “ , down 24 street.
    Maya still didn’t know who was he but she kept on asking him more questions on the low.
    so Maya then say”. Where at down 24 street ?”
    mark sigh , “south philly at my mom house.”
    So that’s when Maya knew who he was.
    Maiyah said. “ I will call you later”.

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  51. The river lays there with tumbling white and red water. The redness of water comes from a near by place that has a circle that is red circle that is fading almost like a memory going down and down and down the river. A dark setting is their like as if no lights existed not even the moon nor sun . No one else knows were this river is except for 2 people. And the 2nd person no longer knows anything. With this knife that I throw into the river it adds another very small red line that travels down and down and down the river with the tumbling white water.

    ReplyDelete
  52. The river lays there with tumbling white and red water. The redness of water comes from a near by place that has a circle that is red circle that is fading almost like a memory going down and down and down the river. A dark setting is their like as if no lights existed not even the moon nor sun . No one else knows were this river is except for 2 people. And the 2nd person no longer knows anything. With this knife that I throw into the river it adds another very small red line that travels down and down and down the river with the tumbling white water.

    ReplyDelete
  53. As Sean sat there, he thought about what he had done. He stared at the river with a blank expression. Not believing what he had done, he stood up and started to walk away. He bumped into his friend, Jack.
    "Hey. Why do you look so down."
    Sean pointed to the lake. When Jack looked, his expression was frightened and frightening.
    "It's okay. I won't tell."

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  54. It was 2 o’clock in the morning and I was driving my car down on a very dark and bumpy road, when suddenly, I heard a gunshot. It was coming from the parking lot that faces St. Paul’s lake. The water was so dark that you could actually see the fish swimming faster than a bullet. I noticed that when I got out of the car and walked to the parking lot, my feet, my arms; my whole body began to shake with fear. I could see a stream of blood coming toward me from the lake! I ran as fast as I could back to the car and jumped into the front seat. I must have sat there for six hours, wondering what that could possibly be. I seemed to remember doing something terrible but I couldn’t figure it out because I was petrified.

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  55. The river lays there with tumbling white and red water. The redness of water comes from a near by place that has a circle that is red circle that is fading almost like a memory going down and down and down the river. A dark setting is their like as if no lights existed not even the moon nor sun . No one else knows were this river is except for 2 people. And the 2nd person no longer knows anything. With this knife that I throw into the river it adds another very small red line that travels down and down and down the river with the tumbling white water.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Making a layup, making a layup first you dribble and you dribble and then you drive to the basket. And the defender will bump you and then you will and then by this time you are on your way to the ground. But if you are a true basketball player you will not worry about that. And you will keep your eye on the the rim and focus on where and how hard you will hit the back board.Then suddenly when you you see the ball going into the basket you will think that. You are the greatest player in the world.

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  57. omar hill-walkerMay 20, 2011 at 1:09 PM

    I have looked at a ant. The ant is a insect that as always been seen but rarely paid attention to. It walks like a animal that has some place urgent to be or as if it hunting down its prey. It has carried a lot materials from 1 garden to the other. The materal looks like it is heavier than its self. When you try to touch this animal it is as if it can feel you from a mile away and it starts to move much faster than usual. It hardly makes a sound even if you listen your hardest you may only hear it going away. The ant is a swift mover going and cutting through tough terrain and it is as if it is never going to stop so that it will never be caugt. The animal is powerful they come in groups when they try to eat your food. Just like on cartoons they are as if i a marching bans never leaving each other. “They have a sweet tooth” my mom says. “They always go for the sweets so clean your room it will keep them away”. It was like as if the ants made my room clean out of fear that they actualy might come so now my room isalways clean. The ants are so many things and that describes them.

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