"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." ~ Anton Chekov

Writing teachers often repeat the above well-worn piece of advice condensed into a simple phrase: "show, don't tell" to emphasize the importance of descriptive detail in "good" writing.  Although in grade schools, our teachers may have encouraged us to do both inviting us to select objects or stories to bring in from home to share with our classmates in the familiar activity "Show And Tell," when it comes to writing most people agree: showing beats telling hands down.

What do I mean by showing and telling in writing?  Let's take a look at some examples.  Here a writer presents the facts of the story by "telling":

"When I was seventeen, I moved out of my house in Mora and went to St. Paul. I lived with my sister near Frogtown. She moved there for the same reasons I did: our parents were too controlling. They wouldn't let us have our own lives."

The above "telling" example is not yet a story; it is a summary of a story.  We don't know what the characters look like.  We don't see them in a scene, or see them in action.  In order to see them in action we need action verbs, and we need to hear the kinds of things these characters might say.

Now, let's take a look at the same story this time presented with action, description, and dialogue:

"At seventeen, I ran out the front door of my parents' house, jumped into my car and drove from Mora to Frogtown in St. Paul in one hour, my red Firebird skidding to a halt in the gravel driveway of my older sister's house. I climbed from the car, raced across the lawn and pounded on her door. "Open up, Mary,” I yelled. “I can't live with those people anymore."

Here the reader is not told how the character feels about her parents, but is instead shown through the character's actions and speech.  By driving away fast from her parents' house, and banging on her sister's door, we can see that the narrator does not get along with her parents and needs to escape.  Showing, rather than telling, gives your readers the opportunity to draw their own conclusions

This week, as we revise our fairy tale "remixes" and conduct peer conferences, all the while working steadily towards publication, I'd like you to work on showing rather than telling by completing one of the following creative writing prompts below (choose one).

As always, don't forget to proofread for CUPS and do your best to write in complete sentences!

Image Source: http://ippaonline.com/ippa/2006/08/


Choose One

1.  Object Description. Go and look at some object rarely paid attention to, like a spider web or a dust ball or a pile of dirty socks, and write about its details. Describe with many senses (sight, touch, taste, smell, sound), and let your words suggest further words until a bigger theme, or idea cracks open.  Don’t think. Write. Stuff happens.

2.  Someone's got a secret.  Write a dialogue between two people who both have a secret they're keeping.  Do not reveal the secrets, but let your reader guess at them through the characters' words and actions.  For example, the dialogue might be between Clark Kent and Lois Lane, Lois Lane has a secret crush on Superman, and Clark Kent is Superman.  Remember, action is an important part of dialogue.  Sometimes we look away instead of answering.

3.  The murderous lake. Describe a lake as seen by a young person who has just committed murder.  Do not mention the murder.

4.  Describe a simple action.  Describe a simple action (sharpening a pencil, tying your shoelaces, making a lay-up shot) in detail using all four senses.  Make it interesting to read.

The above exercises were adapted from John Gardner's The Art of Fiction.